We spent the following two days touring the city—climbing to the top of the Arc de Triomphe, riding to the top of the Eiffel Tower, visiting the Museum of the Army at Invalides—a fascinating museum that had once been a hospital–and Napoleon’s Tomb. We were tired when we walked into our room that night to pack, but I knew we’d have time to rest tomorrow on the ship.
There are twelve trains each day from Paris to Amsterdam and we had our tickets so there was no rush at the Paris Nord Station where a porter checked our bags and showed us where to board. The trip isn’t long—only three hours—and the station in Amsterdam is close by the harbor. We had no trouble getting a cab to take us directly to the ship. I had booked the largest suite, a corner of the upper deck at the stern with rooms surrounded by a long L-shaped balcony and a glass wall in the living room that gave us fantastic views. Today they were of the harbor—tomorrow the Rhine!
Our bags were delivered and we unpacked our second suitcases—the ones with our “cruise” clothes, although, to be honest, they were just jeans, short-sleeved shirts, and sweaters. There was no “formal night” and no expectation of fancy dress on this cruise.
Once done we walked forward to the lounge. There were four couples there, grouped around a table chatting. Jennie is an extremely gregarious person—outgoing and likable. It’s probably how she survived on the road. She walked right up to introduce us. “Hi, I’m Jennie and this is my husband, Doug.” They invited us to sit as they continued their conversation which centered mostly on the travails of air travel.
“I can’t believe how they had us crammed in like sardines,” a woman named Marlene commented. “And these cabins aren’t much better. The shower is tiny and the room isn’t much bigger. Don’t you agree, Jennie?”
“Um…I guess I really can’t. Doug and I flew over first class into London and we have one of the big suites at the rear of this deck. It’s really nice.”
“Don’t you mean you flew here…into Amsterdam?”
“No, we stayed in London four nights and then took the train to Paris for five and we came here by another train. The train is fast here and we had lots of room.”
“I hesitate to ask what the two of you do for a living. This trip must be costing you a fortune.”
“Well,” Jennie responded, “I have no idea what Doug is spending, but I don’t work and Doug is retired.” Jennie continued. Eventually, the story of how we met, fell in love, and married became the topic of discussion as Jennie bragged about me. “Doug’s a computer nerd. He’s really smart…really. Have you ever heard of those ‘Idiot’ programs? Like ‘Spanish for Idiots?’ Doug wrote all those programs and owned the company until he sold it last year. Lucky for me he did, because we’d never have met otherwise.”
I noticed that the bar had opened so I asked if anyone wanted a drink. “You buying?” It was Steve, Marlene’s husband.
“Why not? It’ll be a good way to start off the cruise, don’t you think?” I stood and walked to the bar. A minute later the bartender followed me to the table. “Let’s have a round and put it on my room bill. Have anything like chips or nuts?” Of course they did. Two minutes later he had written down our orders and five minutes after that we held our first drink of the trip. I raised my glass for a toast, wishing for good fellowship and better weather much to the group’s amusement. It was obvious they’d never been to the Netherlands where the weather is often cold and wet before. Jennie toasted with her ginger ale. Before long all the women were giving advice on how to handle her pregnancy. I just sat back in my chair and laughed.
We broke for dinner, but not until I offered a tour of the red light district. “Don’t worry, we’re not stopping and they don’t give free samples. We’re just going to look. I’ve been there before, but I was only looking then, too. It’s not very far from our dock. I’ll bet we can get some of the cruise directors to join us.”
“I don’t think any of us speak Dutch,” one of the husbands commented.
“Doesn’t matter, almost everyone in Europe speaks decent English and I speak German and French, both of which are in frequent use here. Anyway, if you like we can meet after dinner. I see we have a meeting and muster drill before. We’ll have to bring our life preservers.”
I had prayed for an idyllic time on board, but it was not to be—not at first, anyway. The meeting was interrupted by two couples who did nothing but complain. They went on non-stop and loud enough for everyone to hear. Personally, although I held my tongue, I’d had more than enough by the time we broke for dinner. Jennie and I walked in and looked around for some seats. Soon Jennie saw Marlene and Steve standing and waving—inviting us to join them. The food and wine were quite good in my opinion, but those four idiots almost ruined the experience for all of us. Why did they even bother to come?
As promised, we met our new friends and about twenty others at the gangway and were just about to leave when the “Nasty Four” as I had already dubbed them asked where we were going. “That’s disgusting. I’d never….”
“Good,” I replied, “then you won’t be joining us, will you?” I rarely lose my temper, but not even six hours into our trip and I was fed up with their behavior.
The tour went exactly as I had anticipated. You can’t really see anything you can’t see on a beach—maybe even less. The women are all dressed in bras and panties or really short shorts and show their wares in a plate glass window surrounded by a red neon tube. You can see the actual bed where they work in the background, but you’d never see any real sex through the heavy drapes. The first women we saw were mostly eastern European or Asian and not terribly attractive, but that changed as we walked farther down the street. My theory was that the rents were higher in the center so only the more attractive and higher priced workers were to be found there. We returned laughing to the ship about an hour later. Jennie and I waved to our new friends as we walked up the stairs to our suite.
We showered together—ours was actually big enough, but it would have been even if it was tiny. Jennie would have pulled me in to the tiniest space just as she did in our hotel outside Philly. Was that really almost two weeks ago? We climbed into our bed naked as we’d done since our second night together, making love to the rhythm of the gentle waves as they slapped against the side of the ship. Jennie wore me out yet again. Her sweet pussy drained onto my thigh as it did every night. We fell asleep in each other’s arms and woke up the same way.
I was hoping that the Nasty Four would be in a better mood after a good night’s sleep, but—no, not a chance. We sat and ate with our new friends again with the same table and the same waitresses. They were from Slovenia, but spoke better English than some of my golf buddies in North Carolina. They glanced across the large room toward the disturbance, but said nothing. “What the hell…” Mike, one of the husbands, said it for all of us.
“Why do people like that come on trips if they’re so miserable.”
“I noticed they have purple tags. Thank God they’re not in your group or ours.” We had red; they had orange. “You’re right, Marlene, they’re miserable people.” Everyone giggled, Jennie especially, at my double entendre. I’d be damned if I’d allow these jerks to ruin our honeymoon—my wife’s dream vacation.
Our first stop was Kinderdijk where more than a dozen windmills had been placed to pump the land dry. The area was close to the sea and below sea level so the pumping was constant, the wind vanes almost never stopping. Jennie and I found the tour fascinating—from how the mills were constructed to catch the constant breezes off the North Sea to how families lived within the structure. We were back on board and laughing when the purple group followed us. Those poor people looked grim and I knew the reason why—the Nasty Four were still bitching. I had an idea, something that actually came to me while awake, but I wondered if it was even possible. Instead of going up to our suite I asked at Reception for the Purser. We spoke for almost thirty minutes and he agreed to check on my idea and meet Jennie and me in the lounge before dinner.
We showered and changed our clothes—clean shirt and jeans with loafers for me, vibrant purple silk top and tight jeans for Jennie. She also wore a “diamond and sapphire” pendant and matching bracelet. She looked gorgeous as we walked into the lounge. The Four were there as I had hoped. I waited for the purser and I walked up to their table. “Hi…you folks don’t seem to be having a very good time.”
“Boy, aren’t you the astute one. Our friend organized this trip and then fell and broke her ankle. She got her money back and we’re stuck here. I hated the plane ride and this filthy ship isn’t worth a dime let alone all the money we paid.” If this was my wife I’d….On second thought I’d never dream of marrying anyone remotely as negative as this bitch was.
“Well, why stay? Why not go home? It’s clear to everyone on board you’re having a miserable time.”
“Sure…and lose all that money? No chance of that happening.”
“Is that the only thing that’s holding you back? If it is, I’ll make you a deal. This trip probably cost you twelve…thirteen thousand. How’d you like to get twenty?”
“Twenty grand? Who do we have to kill?”
“Nobody. All you have to do is leave this ship before dinner is served. Mr. Jacobsen, behind me, is the Ship’s Purser. He’ll give you a draft for twenty thousand U.S. dollars at the gangway when you leave. We’re not all that far from Amsterdam so I’ll throw in cab fare—separate cabs so you’ll have plenty of room. Mr. Jacobsen will phone the airline so you’ll be able to use your existing e-ticket tonight instead of at the end of the cruise.”
“Where’s this money coming from and why?”
“It’s my money you’ll get and, as for why, this is my wife’s dream vacation and your negativity is ruining it for her so I want you gone.”
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