Punchline…
He gets that dopey grin and says “I was looking, with my hands.” Suddenly I’m laughing so hard my side is splitting and I can’t bring myself to choke him anymore. Were both laying there dying of laughter. If that gave you a chuckle it did its job.
May 28, 2018
Awkward ending
That awkward moment when your trying to watch lesbian porn but a spider crawls across your phone so you throw it, and wake the whole household. Oooops. Lol
Jun 26, 2018
Lie to me
We got the cave and the entrance was small. Small spaces put me on edge. You said I’d be fine. I was uneasy. I had already noticed 2 webs. You said there wouldnt be spiders down there. I wasnt born last night but I went along with it. Once inside I looked everywhere and didnt see anything. I relaxed a bit. I sat down taking it all in. My first spelunking trip. I took some photos. You kept asking me to move along and join you elsewhere (just suggesting kindly that we keep going) but i stayed put just soaking it up. So you came to join me. You couldn’t tell me what you saw because I’d hyperventalate and go full blown panic. So you searched for a nice way to handle things. You saw a spider the size of a 50 cent peice sitting just half an inch from my hand. When I wouldnt move, you moved the spider. Nonchalantly making it scurry away. Eventually we did move. We started to fool around but a cave cricket came next. I asked you to kill it, you did not, but you made it go away. We looked for the bat but he was gone to your relief. I threatened to pet him if I saw him and I was serious, rabies or not (I’ve already had the lecture, skip it please). You kept us moving. I kept looking but you were the only one spotting the spiders so you guided accordingly. Eventually we headed back for the exit. I became fixated on a small crawlspace with a little bend. I said let’s see what’s around the bend. You gave me lighting for my photo. When I asked you to crawl to the bend and see what’s around it, you agreed. You got about half way to the bend when you said “I dont think I can hun, I’m too big”. You came out and suggested we exit the cave. We had seen it all already anyways. You said nothing. You were patient during all 3 of my failed attempts to climb out. once we got out and had walked just down the trail you spilled all the beans. The bend was home to a teacup saucer sized black furry spider. When you went to get my photo, he came out to say hhello. YYou didnt know his plan so you wrapped things up. You lied and calmly helped me exit the situation. If I had seen it, or the several others I would have screamed, hyperventilated, and probably caused my self a concussion mid panic.
Instead you lied to me and I had a wonderful time. Ignorance is bliss. Thank you for today.
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