It was a beautiful campus, and they admitted Lisa that very day. The first two weeks were intense and no visitors were permitted. I did get to visit her in the third and fourth weeks, and while she seemed happy on the surface, I felt that her soul ached for something she couldn’t describe. But she did complete the program on schedule and was then allowed back into our home with Amy. The only warning was that the random drug testing would continue for another year.
Her first months back home were nice, and we were able to act like a normal family. Amy had entered the toddler stage, which added a whole new layer of stress for Lisa to handle while I was at work. Our sex life was quite satisfying, though over time Lisa became quite aggressive in the techniques she preferred. Lots of biting and slapping and even the occasional leather belt entered our sex play, which was not always comfortable or even enjoyable for me. But I loved her dearly and just accommodated her wishes the best I could.
We made it almost to the six-month point following her stint in rehab before Lisa failed another drug test. She then failed the follow-up test, and we had our biggest argument to date. I wanted her to reenter rehab but she wanted to handle things on her own.
“I don’t need some goddamned spiritual guru telling me to calm my inner spirit and drive the drug demons from my body. It’s all psychobabble bullshit!” she yelled at me.
“Lisa, baby, I know some therapy is goofy, but all the medical support and other benefits of the program far outweigh the silly parts. You have to go back in!”
Like ping-pong, our argument went back and forth, but never really resolved anything. In the end, it was the court’s threat of evicting Lisa from the house that forced her back into rehab. This time her treatment did not go as smoothly as she had a few relapses and had to restart several parts of the program. Eventually, seven weeks after she entered, she completed the program and was allowed back home.
Unfortunately, what came back to us was an altered version of the Lisa I knew. She was sullen and depressed, and she decided to meet a psychiatrist to see if he could help. But all he did was start her on psych meds, which just made her numb. Lisa was still able to take care of the apartment and tend to Amy’s needs, but much of the joy in her life seemed to have been bleached away. I was completely lost as to how I could help her.
One move we did try was to put Amy into preschool a few days per week to give Lisa a break. It also benefitted Amy, who now had a larger number of kids her age to interact with. But ultimately, having too much spare time was not good for Lisa’s mental state. With nothing to do, she stayed in bed for much of the day or would walk the beach for hours and then forget to pick Amy up at school. I complained to her doctor, and he decided to change her meds, which had an immediate positive effect on Lisa. Again I had a glimmer of hope.
About three months after her second rehab stint, I came home from work to find that Lisa had cooked my favorite meal and had arranged for Amy to stay with the sitter overnight. The table was set with candles and our best dishes, and Lisa seemed happier than she’d been in months.
When asked, she simply said, “The doctor told me that each day I had a choice as to how I allow myself to feel. And that deciding to feel happy was just as much within my control as deciding to feel sad. So today I decided I wanted to feel like I did during that magical summer we first met!”
“Such a simple concept,” I replied. “Please let me know how I can help you every day to feel the way you want to feel.”
“Well,” she growled, “Dinner will be ready in about an hour, so how about we have some fun?”
I was sitting on the sofa, and she walked over and sat on my lap. We embraced and kissed, and I realized how much I’d missed just plain romance. I slid my hands under her shirt, surprised to find she wore no bra. Her nipples were hard little points, and she moaned softly into my mouth as my fingers massaged her breasts. Her ass began grinding on my lap and as my erection grew she slid back and forth along my shaft.
While I was ready for extended foreplay, Lisa was more frantic and forceful. She pulled my shirt off and then pulled her shirt over her head. This gave me a wonderful opportunity to suck her nipples but she wasn’t interested in that. She stood quickly and helped me yank my trousers and boxers off, allowing my stiff cock to stand tall, oozing drips of pre-cum. Just as quickly, she yanked down her shorts and panties and kicked them aside. I was horny but it was nothing like the fire burning within Lisa.
She straddled my lap and lowered herself onto my cock. I helped line things up and then gasped as my glans slipped inside her warm, wet vagina. She paused for only a moment before lowering herself to my lap. I slid completely inside her silken vault and immediately felt her vaginal walls gripping me. With no effort on my part, Lisa raised and lowered herself on my steel spike and started humping me with enthusiasm.
I held her hips as her ass slapped rhythmically against my thighs. Her beautiful breasts bounced and jiggled in my face, and I used one hand to fondle them. She leaned in and kissed me hard, and I felt her tongue slide through my lips. This new position allowed her clit to rub against my pubic bone and stimulated her to hump me even faster. I was enjoying it all, but it seemed a little too frantic, and I would have liked to slow things down.
Five minutes of manic thrusting and Lisa came like a stick of dynamite. She screamed out as her orgasm hit and her vagina almost crushed my cock with a violent clench. I began spurting hot ropes of semen against her cervix as my orgasm peaked and the tip of my penis burned from the force of ejaculation. A minute later she stopped thrusting and relaxed on my lap with my cock still buried. We kissed and hugged and fought to catch our breath. It was mind-blowing sex but I couldn’t help feeling that it wasn’t real.
After we had cooled down and cleaned up a bit, dinner was ready, and it was one of the best she’d ever made. We both were ravenous and afterward, as we did the dishes together, it almost felt like old times. We found an old movie to watch on TV and by the end of the evening, I began to believe that perhaps we had turned the corner. Lisa was upbeat and engaged, and we snuggled for hours watching the old black and white romantic film.
That night in bed, our lovemaking was slower and more sensuous and when she took my cock in her mouth I almost cried with relief at the memories it triggered. Our sex was relaxed and with me on top, I was able to attend to her every desire. Because I had climaxed so forcefully only a few hours before, I was able to delay myself and help Lisa to multiple orgasms before I finally flooded her pussy with another load of my seed. I fell asleep thinking that this is what it’s like to be happy.
Saturday morning dawned and I awoke slowly to the sounds of the surf and gulls through the open bedroom sliding doors. The drapes were billowing from the salty sea breeze and my entire body felt relaxed. I rolled over and saw that Lisa was already awake and hopefully getting started on a big pot of coffee. It had been a late and physically strenuous evening, and I was looking forward to coffee with Lisa on the balcony.
I went to pee and ran a quick toothbrush through the fur in my mouth, and then padded into the living room. What struck me first was the silence. No radio or TV playing softly in the background. No gurgle of the coffeepot. Just an eerie silence. Looking around, Lisa was nowhere to be seen. I checked Amy’s room and our other bathroom, but both were empty. Then I realized, she must have decided to take an early walk on the beach. I knew it was one of her favorite activities, and I was a little miffed that she didn’t ask me to join her.
I decided to make a pot of coffee for when she got back and grabbed the water pitcher, so I could fill the brewer chamber. That’s when I saw the envelope. Funny how something so ordinary and simple and unadorned can cause your gut to clench and your bowels to turn to water. It was plain white with my name written on it in that beautiful handwriting of Lisa’s that I knew so well. For a brief moment, I considered burning it, believing if I never read it, then the terrible news it was certain to contain would never become reality. But of course, that was nonsense, and with trembling fingers, I unsealed the flap.
Inside was a single sheet of thick, ivory paper, written in Lisa’s lovely hand, evidence of all the penmanship training she received in her private schooling. My eyes were already wet, which made it tough to read through the blur. But I blinked rapidly and her words came into focus.
My Darling Bill,
From the moment I met you, I knew you were the one. The person who could fill my life with joy. The person who would grow old with me. The person who could rescue me from my parents. And for a brief, glorious time, you did just that. But then it all fell apart and my life was never the same. During those horrible months, I did things and saw things that I can never tell anyone, not even you. But it all still lives inside my head, never letting me forget.
I know my drug use disappoints you, but it’s the only way I have to deaden the horrors playing in my brain. I can’t trust myself to act rationally, and I can’t trust myself around Amy as she grows and becomes more strong-willed. And while I know you’d do anything to help me, I fear I am beyond salvation. Therefore, for Amy’s protection and yours, I need to go far away.
Please know that I love you both desperately and that wherever I go you both will always be in my heart. Perhaps, someday, I will be well enough to see you both again, but until then, goodbye my sweet husband. Please give Amy the biggest kiss from me when you see her today.
I love you both,
Lisa
I read and reread the letter, hoping that the words would somehow change. Then I checked the closet and saw that some clothes and her suitcase were gone, further proof that it was real. I called the police, and they sent someone around, but there wasn’t much they could do. Lisa was an adult and even with her drug history, the note she left gave no indication of duress or that she intended to harm herself.
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