I was curious to see where I lied in the relationship triangle. I’ve been texting P to see if he can come spend some time alone with me like we were doing. He comes up with reasons that would be a bad idea, or “excuses” as I call them. No matter the promise of depravity or suggestive pic, he says he’d like to but he can’t get away with it at the moment l. I even suggested asking his wife since we’re tight now and he says he’s worried about the response if he asks for time alone with me, which does make sense… But I’m almost sure he’s just not interested anymore now that J’s putting out for him. I wouldn’t want to bother with me either if I had her, she’s ridiculous out-of-our-league hot. Also super sweet and attentive. She calls me just to talk, wants to hang out platonically alot, and the last couple times we hooked up it was still all sensitive and slow. We spend more time cuddling nose to nose talking about how they met, my history, stuff we’d like to do, ect than we do bumping uglies lol! Not that I would ever call her smooth pink mound ugly. She also wants me to meet her friends and parents, go out and basically date. It’s nice being wanted, I was doing that with P though I’m surprised we stopped. Aside from the sex things aren’t any different for them from what she tells me. They don’t do stuff together otherwise, and he did seem to want to go out with me. Oh well it seems like I’m kind if getting a girlfriend. I hope she won’t mind my side activities, knowing more about me now and considering she was doing the same. Maybe I’ll introduce her to other things that don’t involve her husband either.
Gunguy and Officer N are blowing up my phone. I’m kind of “eh” on Gunguy which I feel bad for cuz I kind of left him hanging, but he did do the same to me which sucked. Even though he made up for it and I do like eating out and blowing shit up with him. And the occasional pegging femboy stuff. But mostly it was all burgers and FPSRussia type stuff when we were hanging out so I’ll try to get back into it with him cuz I know it’ll be fun once I just do it. Maybe I’ll introduce him to J for some experimentation. N on the other hand is getting annoying. We had such chemistry but he doesn’t like to share and he’s getting mean. I was clear about myself when we started hooking up. He doesn’t even know about The Triangle yet because he and his partner don’t talk about private stuff really. I figured they were closer like friends but I guess not.
The day before yesterday was scary and I’m still shaken up about it. After reading this there might be judgment of me but I want how I feel to be understood, in my opinion this was a scary fight and nothing “more”. Officer N showed up at my house unexpectedly for a booty call. I wasn’t doing anything and the arrival of a hot man in uniform at my door does things to me. So we were talking flirty and being handsy but things took a bad turn. Somehow we ended up fighting about my hookups and how I don’t have a bf, I’m being a slut, ect. I tried to make my case about how I’m not against bfs or anything, I’m just young and desirable and don’t want to limit myself to one person if something else I want comes along. He started getting really nasty throwing around stuff about “lying with niggers and spics, fagboys” things like that and I was screaming that he could get the fuck out if I’m no good, which he didn’t take well. He slapped me, I tried to hit him back with the balls of my hands but he grabbed me by the wrists and pushed me down to the floor, landing on me. He was screaming all kinds of racist shit in my face and had crazy wide eyes like actually pissed so I just kind of laid there in a kind of “hands up” pose with them on the side of my head. He took his pants off and rough missionary fucked me on the floor, and it wasn’t fun. I’ve always liked rough sex; facefucking, being spit on, degraded, choked, spanked, slapped, ect but it was always pornstar-like decadence which was just for fun. Like being really handcuffed, but with someone you trust isn’t going to skin you. But this was like that tense feeling when you’re confronted before you get in a fistfight you don’t want to be in and know you’re going to lose. I couldn’t see a way out. It felt like I was about to get my ass kicked. The whole time he was calling me nigger-loving whore and trash, things like that, and he’d switch off between one fist in my hair, with one on my throat and the other pinning my arms over my head, covering my mouth, and even grabbed me by the hair and smacked my head on the floor a few times. This is an angry COP. Again the whole time when I could I just kept my hands by my head and took it, I’d been through worse punishment just for fun, but not today. After 20 minutes he was done and relaxed on top of me, kissing me and saying how much he needed that. We’ve talked before about how I liked rough stuff so I figure he genuinally started off pissed with the slap and grabbing but thought I was playing dirty once we were on the floor, which wasn’t the case at all. After he left I really wanted to talk to J but I stopped myself because I couldn’t explain how I knew N! So I texted her husband instead and told him to call me asap. To his credit he didn’t assume it was about his side piece wanting to hook up and called me back pretty quick asking if I was ok. I knew he was a sweetie. I felt completely fine and just really pissed by the time he called me, but getting a ways into the story I was wailing so bad he couldn’t understand me alot of the time. After talking awhile and calming me down he said he’d handle it and be by later. I called my friend Holly, one of Dillan’s exes and she came over to hang out and I told her the whole story. About midnight that night the boys showed up to talk to me and N was super apologetic while P was super pissed and acted like a moderator. I got to scream and cry at N and when he started repeating himself or tried explaining something and it sounded like too much of an excuse, P would be my tag-team hype-man and tell him to shut the fuck up because I could decide how things would go for him next if he wasn’t careful… N said the slap was real and he regretted it instantly but overcorrected and tried to play it off as rough sex stuff. Unprompted, that sounded like what I thought at the time. He said he WAS pissed at me for being “so open” with others and was jealous because the thought we might become a thing and lost it for a second while we were fighting. After that it was him “giving me what I like” and trying to conflate the slap as the following rough sex, but he did start off being legit mad. So basically he was jealous, pissed, really slapped me, went “oh shit I fucked up”, then tried to make it seem like the start of rough makeup sex to cover up the slap. I thought it sounded like bullshit but he was almost crying by the end, always saying”baby” and answering me with “ma’am” me the whole time, and he confirmed does not have a history of violence becuaue he and P have been friends for years. He said he was sorry he scared me and understands if I don’t want to see him again but hopes I just need time because he wants to be with me and make it up to me, and the things he was SAYING during the fight were just the worst things he could think to say because he was mad. I don’t know if I’ll see him again but I was polite just to get them out and told him I definitely need “time off” for now!
My NEW GF J asked me about my neck and wrist bruises. I told her a rando hookup got rough, and they were good marks and she should try it. A little lie because how I got them I don’t want to happen to her but if she gets them the right way, like with me, that would be different… 😀
Today was scary for a different and cool reason. I was laying under my sun window in my reclining chair, naked as always watching the rain above me. Then I heard a distant rumble. Soon it was pouring so hard I would have had to yell to be heard over it if anyone were here. Then came the flashes, soon after the visual lightning, and I could see the water jump off the window when it shook from how loud it was. The lightning looked weird though, not being a crooked streak like you’d expect. It was like Z and G shapes. It occurred to me from the angle I was laying looking up that those must have been right above me. I tried called B and texted him to ask if he wanted to come lay under me and be ridden in a thunderstorm, he texted back saying he’d love to but he was in class and couldn’t answer the phone, which I always forget about. He could see and hear it from there though. We traded naughty talk and I sent him a pic, and I told him about how I was masturbating right under the lightning, curious about if someone in the next room would even be able to hear us if he were here. He told me he was hard & messy right there among his classmates. It was a really hot and fun day despite the cold rainy weather
Mark called me this week to ask if he could use my house to host an event for his business partners. As I didn’t have any plans I said yeah and he had to send some kind of Rep over to ready it for guests. She was a nice older lady who brought a team over Friday to move stuff around, make changes and bring in rented furniture, ect. It was like getting the house ready for a wedding. My yard got groomed, the pool and hot tub checked and she was impressed those were in appealing condition. I didn’t have to be there but there was a dress code if I was, so I had to wear my fancy black dress. Saturday morning caterers, serving staff and security all showed up and finished prep, I had to go through a briefing if I was going to attend, stick by the side of “Mrs. A” if I didn’t bring a classy date, and basically don’t cause any kind of debacle. I considered not going but didn’t trust 100 strangers in my house having a fancy party without me. Also I was eager to mingle, eat and drink nice food without footing the bill for the event. I had hoped I’d see my ex there but he wasn’t even in the country which is why Mrs. A was hosting. She works for him. I did regognize a few of the guests from my wedding, not immediately because I’d only met them once a few years ago. And they were wearing clothes tonight. I opted to wave as opposed to saying hi to them because I don’t speak German and they don’t speak English well from what I remember. Just after dark one of the German Gents I recognized came and put his hand on the small of my back and gestured to the other room. When we got there he gestured to my front door. I thought he wanted to take me outside for who knows what, but I hoped not because it was freezing and windy. But before we got there he guided me to the stairs. The party was not upstairs at all, just 2 bedrooms and a bathroom… So I was right on the what but not the where. I thought I knew what to expect but I guess not. As we neared the bathroom there was a big guy outside guarding it, my gent leaned past him and opened the door… And there was a couple guests fucking inside. A middle-aged blonde lady was on her knees on my toilet lid, leaning over the tank with her dress hiked up taking it in the ass. I assume anyway, because Germans… I thought we were bound for this party but no. Gent said something to him I didn’t understand and waved, then took me to a bedroom. When I opened the door there were 7 people on my bed, 2 middle-aged but not unattractive women and 5 older guys having an orgy. Gent pushed by me, taking my hand and leading me to a chair where he pulled me into his lap. He stroked his fingers along my thighs and soon found his way up my dress to the wet spot in my panties. We watched the guys group-fuck these women while he stroked me through my panties until I came in them. He just liked to watch because when I tried playing with his dick over his pants he’d kiss my hand and put it back on his shoulder. The room cleared out eventually, everybody thanking and touching me on the way out, and Gent kissed my hand and rejoined the party. It was like I was a celebrity and the show was for me. After that I wandered to the back where there was a spread of awesome food on a clothed table by some cool verticle fire lamps. Everyone was suited and it was too cold for the pool so it was neglected. I relaxed on a patio chair, had grilled duck on some lime rice SERVED to me and watched some very young bikini-clad Latin ladies enjoying my hot tub. They liked my attention and were making out and groping each other while they kept looking over and talking about me. They were clearly the youngest people at the party followed by myself, everyone else between 40-70. Nothing happened after the show, their dates came and collected them and brought them inside. When I asked Mrs A if they were wives/gf’s she said they were short-notice dates retained for a couple guests. Barely-legal (questionable) escorts, I approved. I felt kind of lonely for a long period, just floating around drinking lightly and sampling food and wishing I’d invited a certain PO to be my date. The now-clothed girls then tracked me down sitting on a windowseat. They thought I was working like them and just wanted to chill with someone closer to their own age because their dates were occupied. I told them this was my house and my ex’s business party. They had no idea the things that had happened in the bathroom and bedroom earlier and thought it was scandalous, and were surprised that they weren’t asked to be in on it. They told me they had never been to such a nice event, liked my house and hot tub, the food, and told me they were getting $4,500 each to be dates for the night. They’re professionals working for one of those Grey-area agencies and are paid for their time and attendance, not sex. But if course that’s “how it works” and they can choose to have consensual sex with dates off the clock, but they still get harassed by PO often. They weren’t called on the rest of the night, and we hung out drinking and laughing until everyone else had left. Mrs A took care of their ride home and said the event staff would clean up the next day. Since the food was technically mine I got to keep the leftovers and let the hoes leave with plates of steak and shrimp, they made my night and deserved it. I’ll never see them again probably. It turned out to be a nice day! The nexd day mark called to ask how it’s going, I told him about events during the party and he was surprised it was so light. I reminded him it was light involving ME and that his guests got up to alot. But it was nice to talk to him for the first time in awhile and he said we could hook up when he was able to come stateside again, current events prohibiting travel of course. The guests were already here and not going home anytime soon I guess.
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