My mother, my lover by Kimzilla

So hey, my name is Kim as said above if you read the little thingy above! Lol 😛 I am the youngest of three, little about me physically. I am 5’3 108 pounds currently(from this morning!). Breast wise I am actually pretty big for my small size, rocking a I like to think sweet pair of 36 C cup size. I have green eyes and naturally blond hair but I keep it dyed black cuz green+black is sweet!  So let’s begin!The journey of how me and my mom began, started at the age of 14. I was dating this guy that my parents said were too old for me. Anyways, really to me everything started the day my mom came into my room raging at me. She was furious about his age, that I didn’t tell her, and how she found out. (he is the son of one of her employees), woops? 😛

Anyways, we got into it really badly, we argued really intensely back and forth, till finally I told her I was not a child I am a teenager but I’m 14 not 4, and he is only 18 not 50. I told her to fuck off. After that she just gave me this beyond furious look and just slapped the wall and told me I was an ungrateful little brat and left my room.

I was pissed so I got on my computer to blast some music and relax. But about 15 minutes later. She came back *sigh*. So I heard the door close and I just I got up and saw her and just sighed, cuz I was like O COME ON. Round 2 begins is what I remember thinking. So my mom just stood there and closed the door, and then locked it. I remember her even pulling to make sure she locked it. I remember so well cuz I rolled my eyes thinking….how dramatic what are you gonna do, spank me?(didn’t say it but was thinking it).
So my mom started to walk towards me though, and she had this really odd face that I just never seen before, she looked nervous and…I don’t know just utterly thrown off I guess, she was even shaking a little and almost in tears. I honestly was like…mom? are you okay. Because the way she looked I swear I thought she was gonna tell me my dad was in a car accident or something.

Instead she just came up to me…and started feeling my arm too shoulder and then my chest. But I didn’t think anything of it, like she wasn’t feeling up my breast or anything, she was simply like rubbing her hand over my heart as if she had to tell me something horrible. Anyways I started to panic and I was like MOM plz say something! And she just squinted and started to cry a little. And I just…I mean my mom is cold and calculated, she is strong and never nervous, so I was really like…JUST TELL ME WHATS WRONG. So I just went to hug her but when I went in for the hug she responded by leaning in and kissing me.
Ya…so that happened and too be honest, I didn’t even react at first. I just let her kiss me my mouth a little open. I remembering feeling even her lips shivering. It was just insane. So many thoughts running through my head. I was only a kid. So you might find this funny, but a part of me didn’t stop her because I simply didn’t want to be rude haha.

I just looked at her, but her eyes were close and I just I didn’t know how to react. So I found myself starting to kiss her back, until I felt her hand go on my waist. Her touch just was a shock back to reality and I just broke the kiss and shoved her off me and was like. WTF WAS THAT?! She started to clearly panic and tried to apologize, but I was like what is wrong with you? YOU KISSED ME WTF And I was just crazy, full blown crazy. I told her to get the fuck out, threaten to call dad and the police… It was quite crazy moment for me, but in my defense it all happened so fast.

Now I understand I didn’t handle all this well, but you got to understand something. My mom is the over protective type who, always tells me if anyone ever touched me or hurt me she would find them and kill them. She raised me to tell people if I was ever sexually abused or anything she use to say even if it was her call the cops or tell someone ect ect.So ya…this was just too much? I didn’t know how to react, I panicked and then, then well…it happened *Sigh* I threw a cd case at her. And it hit her right on the head and I just told her to get out and I started pushing her and she just left *sigh* Soooo anyways I just I couldn’t breathe and I didn’t want to be around her, I just I went for a run(on track love to run) but all that ended up happening was I over thought everything. So I decided to go to my dad’s and stay there.

My parents have been separated since I was 2 years old. Although they are great parents….more or less 😛 They even both live only a few blocks away, so that way we never had to pick. They never have had custody agreements or anything, we sort of just would fall where we please, all 3 of us got our own rooms at both places. So it wasn’t too odd to my dad that I stood with him for a week+ He just assumed me and my mom got in a fight(we did often) and that I was avoiding her as usual.

The week was horrible for me 🙁 I was torn between so many thoughts. It was hell. I thought to myself if my mother was a pedophile, which I guess technically was, but then other horrible thoughts started to seep in. Like did she …dare touch one of my brothers? and they were hiding it. How could I even begin to ask one of them? Cuz if not they will know about her and ya… I just was scared like how long has she liked me? How long has she wanted me and it made me feel ….disgusting and made my skin stand on edge. I was torn between like there was two moms in my head, the hardass mom who just wants the best for us and pushes us a little too hard, and this other one(at the time) I thought a monster 🙁
Anyways finally I just, I had enough and I emailed her(didn’t have courage to talk) I had been dodging her calls ect ect. I told her I needed to talk and that I’d speak to her that night. Instead my nerves got the best of me and I went to a party 😛 I was 14 but kinda cute in the older looking sorta way hehe, so my boy friend got me to go to a party with him where I got drunk for the first time -_-

Anyways fast forwarding a little, me and my boy friend where in his car now and he was getting very handsy. And I stopped him and just started to tear up freaking out and sadly he was actually cool about it, and honestly if we were in his bedroom, this story would of gone very differently 😛 I simply am not the car type of girl and my first time wasn’t gonna be in a car ya know?

But sadly he was cool about it, I say sadly because I FREAKED anyways haha poor guy, he just said it’s cool and he asked if I wanted to go home cuz I was crying and he had no idea why, he thought he did something wrong. I got out of his car and he told me to get back in NOW like he yelled but he was just being protective, he didn’t want me walking home drunk.
I ended up calling my mom drunk and told her to come get me…and she was like…are you drunk? and she freaked asking where I was and I got annoyed and pissed and told her to come fucking pick me up or I’d tell(she immediately knew what I meant).

Then I tossed the phone to my boy friend at the time and haha again poor guy had to have the awkward conversation with my mom telling her where I was, and she, I found out later asked him to please watch over me till she got there. Poor guy I called him so many names, trying to get him to leave me alone but he just kept following me down the block and he even grabbed me, wouldn’t let me cross the street or leave the block 😛

Anyways my mom came and got me finally. And she just tried to lecture me about what the hell am I doing. and I just FREAKED again I was like ARE YOU KIDDING ME? THIS IS ALL YOUR FUCKING FAULT. And she just apologized and I was like I don’t want your damn apologizes I want you nto to be fucking sick in the head I want a normal none fucking perv of a mother. Anyways more or less I yelled and she took it till I went to sleep.

Sorry if this is a little dragged out, but trust me this is all very important 😛

The next few months I was a literal class A bitch. was being a jerk to everyone and abusing the knowledge I had to my advantage. I used it as an excuse to be a jerk. I would call my mom names and I sorta blackmailed her into being my bitch 🙁 I am not proud of how I acted but it is what it is.

It wasn’t bad 24/7 sometimes if I was getting ready to go out with friends, I’d simply ask her how I looked and made little jokes like “Bet I’m good enough for you huh?” Stuff like that wasn’t even being mean my tone was light and we both would laugh and she would call me an idiot 😛 But if I did something wrong, I knew there would be no punishment cuz I’d tell her and ya… 🙁 I abused her, not physically and not really mentally but verbally and I had no respect for her anymore or myself 🙁

I had started to slowly alienate my friends(though I didn’t or care now cuz I kept the very close ones) 😛 Anyways back to my boy friend. I had treated him like shit and well….here is where everything changed…
It was just one of those bad situations, annd I had felt bad how I was treating him so I figured…haha I really do care about him he has been really good to me, and I wanted him to make a move, but at same time had been making it impossible for him to make a move -_- So I figured I’d ….haha have sex with him 😛 Let him be my first(ya had huge ego) and everything would be well! Right?

So I got ready and wore my best tight jeans, and my favorite t-shirt, perhaps not my most slutty t-shirt but it was the shirt I felt best in ya know? Not most comfy more like, most use to it? Like I felt just myself and thought I looked good in. Well I started walking over to him… And something I didn’t see coming happened…I called him, you know to let him know I was coming and…ya… He broke up with me 🙁 His lost 😛 but truly I understand it, I hold no anger towards him, I 100% deserved it.