“ Dad what…what are you doing here?” I ask seeing him chuckle
“ I came to see my son who I deeply love.” He tells me as I smile wide as he continued “ Heath I want to say I am proud that your starting to come to terms with May’s death as you did mine years ago.”
“ How…how do you know May?” I ask seeing a smile
“ Son she is where I am so that’s how. She sends her love by the way.” He tells me answering my question
“ Oh ok I forgot, but what brings you here, and I am not totally over Grandma May’s death.” I say with my head lowered
“ I know I said starting to not over her death. As for me being here well just thought I would watch the waves with you.” He tells me as I smile at his words
That dream soothes me knowing my father is and will always be with me no matter what my life throws at me. We talked like when he was alive. I know it was a dream, but to me this felt real.
Tiffany’s POV: Later that night
I am in the delivery room giving birth to my baby. The pain is beyond what my mother, and the others told me. I can feel my labia lips stretching wide. The doctor is telling me to push as my mother and god mother Kiko hold my hands. Oh god the pain hurts giving birth. The doctor has me hold as I feel my baby coming out. I wanted to experience this, but I didn’t expect this.
“ Ok Tiffany the worst part is over with just one more push.” she tells me as I push one more time
“ OH GODDDDDDDD!” I yell as I push the baby I carried 9 months finally comes out
I lay back as the doctor checks my baby when I hear her start crying. I look down not able to see anything until after I see my mother step over to cut the cord. Once down the doctor hands the little bundle of joy to the nurse. I watch the nurse take my baby over to clean her off. I lay there thinking of this whole day that went by. I had thoughts of Heath looking at his face that came from my memories. His voice I heard all those times as we spoke over a year ago. The nurse bring my baby to me placing her in my arms. I look in her beautiful face for the first time.
“ Hey beautiful it’s nice to finally see you.” I say seeing her finally open her eyes
I gasp as my own eyes grow wide.
“ Tiffany what is it honey?” My mother asks stepping closer to see before she continues “ Oh my her eyes are just like Heath’s.’
“ No way they are really?” Kiko says looking intently
“ Well just shows who her father is.” Ellie says giggling coming over
They all smile paying attention to their grand baby.After a bit the nurse steps over with a clipboard.
“ Honey have you thought of a name for your baby girl?” She asks with a smile
I look at my baby seeing her eyes, tiny nose, and ears. Her hair has a mixture of black with red tints. I look up between all the mothers.
“ Tiffany hun this is on you honey.” Ellie tells me as I look at the nurse
“ Karen Summer Thompson.” I respond getting smiles from the mothers
“ That is a beautiful name hun.” The nurse says writing the name down
After the nurse, Kiko, and Ellie leave my mother stays with me as I breast feed my baby. I hear a song come to my head as I hold this beautiful baby.
How the hell did we wind up like this?
Why weren’t we able, to see the signs that we missed
And try turn the tables
I wish you’d unclench your fists, and unpack your suitcase
Lately there’s been too much of this
But don’t think it’s too late
Nothing’s wrong, just as long as
You know that someday I will
Someday, somehow
I’m gonna make it all right but not right now
I know you’re wondering when
(You’re the only one who knows that)
Someday, somehow
I’m gonna make it all right but not right now
I know you’re wondering when
Well I’d hope that since we’re here anyway
That we could end up saying
Things we’ve always needed to say
So we could end up staying
Now the story’s played out like this
Just like a paperback novel
Let’s rewrite an ending that fits
Instead of a Hollywood horror
Nothing’s wrong, just as long as
You know that someday I will
Someday, somehow
I’m gonna make it all right but not right now
I know you’re wondering when
(You’re the only one who knows that)
Someday, somehow
I’m gonna make it all right but not right now
I know you’re wondering when
(You’re the only one who knows that)
As I hear that song in my head I feel my tears falling wishing Karen’s father was here. Holding her in my arms brings me happiness, joy, and love, but even more because she has Heath’s eyes. Karen’s is just as bright as she opens them ever so often.
“ Tiffany what’s wrong honey bunch?” My mother asks as I look up at her with blurry eyes
“ I miss him mom so very much. I can’t get him out of my heart or soul. I want him here to see this beautiful little girl so much. Why doesn’t he call me momma?” I ask feeling my tears fall even more
“ Honey I know you do love him. You have shown that by staying true to him even though he is gone. Tiffany you have this beautiful baby girl to focus on to help time go by until Heath comes back into your life as well as Karen’s.” My mother tells me sitting by me
“ I know mom it just hurts so much.” I say as my mother nods
“ that’s because it’s called love honey so keep hold of that, but focus on Karen for now until her father shows up one day.” Mom tells me as I look to see Karen with one eye looking at me
She is now my focus to give her all I can. I hold her little hand as she feeds from my left breast. I can’t help, but smile feeling her hand wrap around my finger. With a motherly voice I speak to this bundle of joy in my arm.
“ I love you my little Karen as much as your father will once he sees your precious eyes.” I tell her with a smile as I see her show a small one
That moment I don’t care how long it takes me I plan to bring daughter and father together so we can finally become a family.
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