I ate slowly and tried to understand what had happened.
I felt a peace. A settling of some sort of light inside.
Was this what Zen Buddhists felt like? Was this a Zen moment?
“You are thoughtful, little-one?” Dennis asked, with tenderness in his tone of voice. He stroked my shoulder.
“I was just wondering what A Zen experience was like. I wondered if that was what I just had.
Of all the spankings and whippings you have given me over these last few months, none were quite like that. It was like I was building up to this. I don’t know what you did to me. I can’t imagine asking anyone to tie me upside down from a tree and whipping the arse off me. It sounds ridiculous. But Wow. Can we do it again next week?” I smiled at the ridiculousness of my own comment.
Dennis, Remy and Amelie all giggled.
“Sadly we go to England tomorrow. It is not easy finding a big wood. Finding a clearing.” Dennis said.
We made small talk while we ate. I think we were all deep in thought about things. Different things.
I just basked in the inner glow. That, and the outer glow of my, still tingling, skin.
After Amelie had packed away the last of the food and the remnants, and Dennis had packed away his rope, we all just lay on the blanket enjoying the dappled sunshine through the trees. A tangle of bodies.
Until it started to cool and we had to make our way back to the car.
I think we all took a moment to find a tree to piddle behind. Then we started the trek back to the car.
I was glad Dennis knew what he was doing. I would have been lost in twenty seconds.
He held my hand and supported me as he led us back, while Remy and Amelie cuddled together behind us.
My legs were like jelly.
At the car the three of them put clothes on. I remained naked, feeling the delicious cool air on my skin.
Remy drove.
Once he was assured that I was Ok, Dennis remained in the front seat. I cuddled with Amelie in the back.
“You are a strange one.” Amelie said in a whisper. “Like Sandrine, but not like her.”
“Like any of the other women Dennis has had?” I asked. Not with any animosity or jealousy, just for interest. To help me understand myself.
“No. I have not met all the others. He has had women, of course. Maybe some saw the money. Dennis is… Beau. Handsome. Good looking. He wears nice clothes. He has…” She paused. Maybe looking for the words.
“He has presence. When he walks into a room, you know he is there. You cannot ignore him.” I said.
“Yes.” Amelie agreed. “And some women come to him for this. Maybe some do like the pain, but are different to you. But not many I think. He is still lost. He still loves Sandrine with so much love.” She stopped to hug me tighter. “I say this not to hurt you, but to tell you the truth. You may love him. I think you do. I think he likes you. He has affection for you. I do not know if he loves you.”
“No.” I agreed. I had come to the same conclusion. “I think I do love him. But I think I love what he does for me and to me. It is so powerful, it scares me. He seems to know me. But I do not feel he loves me. He cares for me. This I do know.”
“Yes. But be careful. ‘Little one’.” Amelie copied Dennis’s affectionate name for me.
“Yes.” I hated to admit it. But I knew this to be true.
Remy dropped us off at Dennis’s house. Dennis and I unloaded his bag.
He led me to the Jacuzzi.
We spent an hour just relaxing. Cuddling. Drinking fine wine. And talking.
I slept that night in his arms.
In his bed.
Could life get any better than this?
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