Aspirations of a Psycho Slut

I sat on the edge of my bed, where I had been for maybe the past hour or so, staring at my alarm clock. Two 1’s, followed by a 5 and then an 8, it read.

“Almost!” I whispered eagerly to myself for the zillionth time that night. I heard a distinct tremor in my voice as I spoke. This was no surprise, of course, as I was as excited as I had ever been in my whole entire life. I would say sincerely, all theatrics aside, that I was just about to embark upon the moment that all my other moments had been leading up to ever since I was born. I wondered if this is what those fish (salmon, I think?) felt after a long and grueling journey fighting their way upstream against the current of the river, when they finally reached that magical spot where they spawned and died. What a way to go. Destiny carried out, then dying a warrior’s death.

Not that I was about to die, of course. Quite the opposite, actually. I had not truly lived yet, in my opinion. But that was all just about to change.

The 8 turned into a 9, and my heart rate kicked up a notch.

“Hey, get back in those pores!” I ordered my sweat, which suddenly and inconveniently decided to make an appearance. I shut my eyes and took a deep breath, forcing myself to gain control of my nerves so my perspiration did not ruin the hours of grooming and cleaning I had spent on my entire body that evening.

I knew it was silly, and perhaps a tad bit overkill, but I felt that any bead of sweat, or chipped fingernail, or strand of hair gone astray, had the potential to send my little personal fairy tale that I had created in my head into a tailspin from which there was no coming back.

Again, that was the silly side of me talking. My plan was foolproof, and I knew it. I wiped a tiny drop of sweat from my brow, rubbed it into my fingers until it no longer existed, and then opened my eyes once more.

Midnight. A barely perceptible shriek escaped my lips. I stood up quickly and darted towards my bedroom door, ready to charge into the hallway. But as soon as my fingers touched the doorknob, I froze.

“Wait,” I said slowly to myself, “does the new day start at midnight, or at 12:01?” I honestly had no idea. A minor detail perhaps, but an important one nonetheless. Even something as small as this could be a fate changer, and I was not about to risk my destiny over a measly little minute. I could wait a few seconds longer.

I moved slowly over to my dresser mirror and did a once over of my appearance. My light brown pigtails hung perfectly symmetric to one another on each side of my head, and were nicely accentuated by a pair of blue quarter moon earrings. My eyebrows, freshly plucked to perfection, arched over my honey colored eyes. My lips shone enticingly with a very light layer of gloss. I smiled at my reflection, sighing slightly as my braces suddenly came into view. It had irked me for so long at how indecisive my parents had been about me getting braces, to the point where I ended up getting them much later in life than most. I had to admit, however, that while they weren’t my favorite, they did add a layer of innocence to my look that on some days I actually found quite endearing.

I took a couple steps back and adjusted the straps on my little laced nightie, checking myself out some more as I did. Contrary to most of my female high school peers, I loved everything about my physical appearance, and couldn’t imagine ever changing a single thing about it. My breasts weren’t the biggest in the world, barely a B cup, but they were mine, the perfect pert little handfuls that they were. My petite frame didn’t offer up much in the way of curves, but I knew how to work what I had. I was hot and I knew it, and maybe it was my confidence that put it all together in such an irresistible way.

I played with the hem of my nightie, which stopped around halfway down my thigh, then traced my fingers down the fronts of my freshly shaved legs. Goosebumps popped up on my exposed shoulders as I did.

“Yep, I’m ready,” I said with a shiver as I watched the clock switch to 12:01. I took one last deep breath, opened the door, and moved quietly into the hallway.

As expected, everything was pitch black and quiet, which worked out perfectly for my plan. If either of my parents had been awake, this whole thing would have been thrown off the rails. Thankfully, as I was fully aware, my parents are creatures of habit, and go to bed at precisely 10:05 every evening.

The one wildcard in all of this was my brother. He was a few years older than me, and even though he was already in college, he still lived at home since his school was within driving distance. Some nights he’d go to bed pretty early, others he’d stay up late doing homework, or whatever it was he did in his room with his door closed.

On this particular night, the situation was, it seemed, the former. Peering down the hall, I noticed that there was no light coming from underneath his door. That didn’t necessarily mean he was asleep, but at least there was a good chance of it.

Either way, I was about to find out.

I tiptoed down the dark hall, stepping strategically on the places that I knew would not cause the floor to creak. In one particular spot, I had to move all the way to the left of the hall, then awkwardly step to the right at a diagonal over the rug to avoid noises in the floorboard. After that though, it was smooth sailing for the last few steps until I reached his door.

I made a point in that moment to silently thank my parents for not investing in doorknobs with locks, because I was certain that if given the opportunity, my brother would have absolutely locked his door. He was just a private person like that. I turned the knob as slowly as I physically could, only the tiniest of noises filling the silence from the movement of the metal. Then, I noiselessly pushed the door open and took in my surroundings.

I was relieved to see that there was no light coming from any phones or computers, which definitely meant my brother was asleep. Before stepping into his room, I scanned the floor, using the faint light from an outdoor security light as a guide, and saw only one object, a shoe perhaps, that I would need to avoid. Other than that, the floor was completely clean, making the path to my destination that much easier.

As I already knew from previous nights of coming into his room to stand by his bed and watch him sleep, the giant padded rug on his floor muffled any and all sounds of creaking floorboards that I had to deal with in the hallway. I was free to relax my tense muscles and move carelessly to stand beside him, which I did immediately.

The outdoor lights, when first installed, bothered me to no end. We had fairly cheap blinds covering all of our windows, and no matter what I did in my own room, I could never block out all of the light at night. It was infuriating. My parents always followed my complaints with the same annoying line, “Safety first!”. The lights were apparently going to keep someone from breaking into our home and killing us, though I never really understood how.

But in this moment, and in several moments prior to this one, I was grateful for them. I smiled as I watched Tevin’s chest slowly rise and fall with each breath he took. He was the most handsome boy in the whole world, and even if I hadn’t already spent so much time memorizing every little detail of his face and was seeing him for the first time in this dim lighting, I was certain I would still be able to tell that was the case.

I always found it odd that he seemed to often sleep on his back. I personally found that position quite uncomfortable when I slept, usually opting for sleeping on my side, or sometimes on my stomach with my knee jacked up high beside me. But of all the times that I had been in his room at night, and there had been a lot, all but a few of them he was sleeping peacefully and comfortably on his back. Just another quirk of his that I loved.

One last time, I took a long, slow breath, letting all my fears and doubts wash over me into a puddle on the floor, leaving them behind as I lifted my leg up onto his bed. Using my light weight to my advantage, I carefully swung one of my legs over Tevin’s body without disturbing him in the slightest, then brought up my other leg to his other side so that I was straddling him just below his waist, leaving only his thick blanket and whatever he was wearing underneath it separating my brother from my untouched womanhood.

I pressed myself down on him very slightly, causing him to stir slightly. The temptation to grind myself into him was all too real, but that was not how I wanted this to go. Very gently, I began to lean forward little by little until my breasts were pushing tenderly into his partially exposed chest. I lowered my face so that it was mere centimeters from his, my pigtails dangling down beside me. My mouth was right in front of his, and I could feel his breath from his nostrils warming my lips. I opened my mouth and breathed him in, taking in his essence in the most warming and secretive way. My heart drummed furiously in my chest. Feeling his warm breath fill my mouth was by far the most sensual thing I had ever experienced. More accurately, the only sensual, or even sexual, thing I had ever experienced, and I was enjoying every second of it.

I, of course, had never done anything like this before. The previous nights that I had come into his room, I never even considered doing anything like this. I just watched him sleep, nothing more, nothing less. Not that I wouldn’t have given in if he had wanted it, but I respected him too much to try something like this before I was legal. Tevin was the best guy in the whole world, and would never consider taking advantage of me like that. So I waited for him. Not just with other guys, but with myself, too. Not once had I ever touched my body in any type of sexual way. It had not been easy, of course. There were some nights that I had really wanted to give in to certain urges, but I always held back, resorting to the teachings of monks and nuns that I found online for guidance.