I trembled noticeably as I crumpled to the ground. “Tevin, what are you really trying to tell me? I’m trying to read between the lines here, but I…I just don’t understand your deeper intent.”
Tevin pushed his hands into his hair and began to pull violently. He turned towards his bed, shoved his face into his pillow, and screamed for several seconds, the noise mostly muffled. Even after saying all those hurtful things to me, I still pitied him. I walked up behind him and placed my hand softly on his bare back, causing him to flinch and turn away from me.
“You are impossible,” he sighed as he crossed the room once again, putting more distance between us. “Please get out, Leah.”
“Get out?” I asked, surprise washing over me at this sudden turn of events. “That’s a bit out of nowhere, don’t you think? What about tonight? What about our destiny of love?”
“Not a chance in hell, Leah.” He walked to his door and opened it, looking back at me expectantly as he made a motion with his hand implying I should leave.
“Why are you so afraid of this moment?” I said with an obvious, and purposeful, tone of sadness in my voice. “We can still salvage this.”
“Get out before I call for Mom and Dad,” he threatened. “As it is, I have no intention of telling them about any of this, for their own sake and mine. Dad’s heart and Mom’s anxiety and all. But so help me I will scream out to them if you do not leave this instant.”
Tears leaked out of my eyes as I walked sullenly past my big brother and into the dark hallway. “If that’s what you really want,” I whined as I passed him.
“It is,” he said harshly. “Also, news flash, I’m twenty-two years old and a senior in college. I’ve had sex. Multiple times, with multiple girls. My ‘destiny’ has been fulfilled, and I suggest you find someone else to fulfill yours, now that you’re legal,” he said mockingly. With that, he closed the door in my face and left me crying by myself in the hall.
~
I was only able to get a few hours of sleep that night, but strangely, I woke up feeling refreshed. I had a new, positive perspective on the situation, and bounded happily into the kitchen that morning, excited to share it with Tevin.
“Good morning, sweetie!” my mother exclaimed as I entered the kitchen.
“Happy birthday, pumpkin!” my dad shouted gleefully, pulling me into a big hug.
“Thanks Dad!” I replied, making purposeful eye contact with Tevin.
“Tevin, tell your sister happy birthday,” Dad ordered.
“I was gonna,” he mumbled, turning his gaze to me. “Happy birthday, Leah.”
“Thanks Tevy!”
“So sweet,” my mother gushed.
“Aw, eggs Benedict with smoked salmon!” I said, looking at the breakfast spread on the table. “So fancy!”
Mom smiled. “Well, I know how much you’ve been wanting to try it, and I figured an eighteenth birthday was as good a reason as any that I could think of to give it a go,” Mom replied with satisfaction. “I just hope it’s edible!”
“It’s perfect. Thanks Mom!”
As we ate, I periodically glanced over at Tevin to see if he would make eye contact with me. He never did, of course, and I knew why. He must have felt absolutely awful about ruining our special night, and I wouldn’t have been surprised if the guilt kept him from getting any sleep. Despite how mad I should have been at him, I found myself silently forgiving him. He was still the most perfect human being in the world to me, and I was prepared to give him a million more chances if I had to.
“We’ll do presents and a cookout tonight,” Mom said towards the end of the meal. “Your grandma and Aunt Liz and cousins will all be here. Are there any friends that you want to invite over?”
“What friends?” Tevin said quietly as he picked at his plate of food.
Both of my parents snapped their heads toward Tevin and looked at him dangerously. He looked back at them and shrugged. “I’m just saying, we both know that she doesn’t actually have any friends. I’m not picking on her or anything, just stating the facts.”
“You better lock it up right now,” Dad replied angrily. “I don’t care if you’re about to graduate college or not, you will not talk about your sister like that. You know she can’t handle that kind of talk.”
“Your father’s right, Tevin,” Mom chimed in. “Now please apologize to her right now.”
“I wasn’t picking on her! I was just-”
“Now!” they both shouted.
Tevin rolled his eyes and slowly turned his head towards me. “I’m sorry, Leah,” he said quietly, sounding only half sincere.
“No apology necessary!” I replied with a smile. I looked over at Mom and Dad and noticed a huge look of relief on their faces at my reaction as they sank comfortably back into their chairs.
“I’ll ask Vanessa from church if her daughters could come over to celebrate with us,” Mom said with a tone of satisfaction. “I know they’re a bit younger than you, but you guys get on pretty well with each other, right Leah?”
“Sure, sounds good,” I replied generically, not giving a shit about any of those people and focusing all my attention on Tevin. I was ready to get this breakfast over with and get some time alone with him before I went to school, but my time was running out.
“Hey Tevin,” I said suddenly, a brilliant idea suddenly popping into my head. “You still good to give me a ride to school today like you said you would?”
His head snapped in my direction as he chewed his last bite of English muffin. “I said what now?” he replied skeptically.
“You told me yesterday that you’d save me from having to ride the bus on my first day as an eighteen year old and give me a ride to school today.” I put on the best sad face that I could, laying it on thick for my parents’ benefit, and changed my tone to that of a pouty child. “You weren’t just messin’ with me again when you said that, were you?”
“Dammit, Tevin!” Dad exclaimed. “Why are you being so mean to your sister this morning? It’s her birthday for crying out loud!”
“I never said-”
“You will be giving her a ride to school this morning,” Dad commanded. “And picking her up after school. Is that clear?”
“Sure, but I never-”
“It’s not like it’s out of your way or anything,” Mom added. “It’s right down the road from your college campus.”
“For the hundredth time, I don’t have classes on Tuesdays,” Tevin replied. “So, today, it is out of my way, as I was never going to drive that direction in the first place.”
“Well, you’ll drive that way today, and that’s an order,” Dad said. “And if you don’t, you can go ahead and stop asking me for gas money.”
“Okay, okay!” Tevin relented. “I’ll take her.”
“Yay!” I exclaimed with a childish clap of my hands. “Thanks, Tevin!”
“Tell your sister that she’s welcome!” Mom demanded.
“Oh my god, I was going to!” Tevin replied. “Can we stop catering to her every little emotion for just one second?”
“Dangerous territory,” Dad warned, pointing a threatening finger at Tevin. He gave him a stern look, prompting Tevin to just simply nod, clear his dishes away from the table, and leave the room to presumably get ready.
“You know your brother loves you very much, right sweetie?” Mom asked me after a minute.
“Of course!” I chirped. I really did know that. I felt a little bad for Mom since she didn’t know just how much he loved me.
Earlier in my life, when I realized that me and Tevin were in love and destined to be together, I knew that it would always be difficult for my family to understand and accept. I decided that what was best for our family unit as a whole was to keep my relationship with Tevin a secret until a much later date. I mean, obviously, once Tevin and I got married and started having kids, we’d have to come clean. But that was far off in the future, and honestly outside of my realm of concerns at the moment.
Once I had finished breakfast, I quickly brushed my teeth, making sure to get every little piece of food out that got stuck in my braces, and started picking out my clothes. I needed a skirt for that particular day, and found a nice white one that was an appropriate length for school. I paired it with a dark blue top that hugged my modest form nicely, threw my hair into pigtails once more, and scurried out the door to find Tevin waiting for me in his car.
“Thanks again for the ride, Tevin!” I said as I buckled myself into his front seat.
He sighed. “Yeah, no problem,” he replied sullenly.
I sat there silently for a few minutes as we drove, hoping that Tevin would be the first one to speak. I had plenty to say of course, but my school was far enough away that I didn’t need to rush that conversation. Soon enough, Tevin did in fact give in and start talking to me.
“I’m sorry,” he began. I turned my gaze to him and stared at his gorgeous face as he struggled to find his words. “If it were any other human being in the world that acted like you did last night, I’d have nothing to be sorry over. But I should have known better than to talk that way to you. I know you better than anyone, and like I said last night, I know you can’t help how you are sometimes. I went too far with my cruelty towards you. But it was honestly the only thing I could think to do to snap you out of it and get you to leave. I don’t know if you’ve gained any clarity this morning or not, but-”
“Oh I’ve gained plenty of clarity,” I assured him. “I feel so stupid. I realize now how dumb of a thing it was for me to do, and I guess I should thank you for pointing that out to me.”
“Oh thank god,” he said in relief. “I never know with you, Leah. I know sometimes the crazy comes and goes, but sometimes it lingers longer than I could ever predict. I am very glad to hear that you’ve come to your senses.”
“Indeed I have, Tevin. I realize now that my approach was way off. I should have never come into your room in the middle of the night like that. There are much better ways for us to begin our rendezvous of love.”
“Ah fuck, Leah. Really?” Tevin began beating his head on his steering wheel as he drove.
“Of course there are! I had an epiphany this morning that I’d like to share with you now.” Tevin groaned. “We were very unlucky to have had a four year gap in our ages. If you had been just a year or two older than me, or better yet, if we’d been twins, this would have been so much simpler. But you were always going to wait until I was eighteen before taking me to bed, and I knew that. I should have realized that there was no way that you were going to waste those precious years at the beginning of your sexual prime while you were in college waiting for me. You are a man with needs, and I understand that. Even though the idea of you with other girls hurts me, it’s still something that I can understand and accept. I try to look on the bright side and focus on how much knowledge and experience you’ve gained with those girls, and how positive that can be for me when our time comes.”
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