I realise that this is the most gentle he has been with me up until now and the difference is both soothing and incredibly jarring. His expression then becomes very serious. He knows that this is a big deal to me, and is watching for any moment where I may not be entirely willing. Yes, he’s clearly aching to keep going but he is also very aware that it can all change in a moment.
“You have another choice to make, Cassy,” he says gently. I am so relieved when he doesn’t try to use another silly endearment and I hope he doesn’t notice the deep blush in my cheeks.
“You can opt for either your eyes being covered, or your mouth to be silenced. I will leave at least one so you feel that little bit more comfortable. Which one will you choose?”
I pause for a moment, and then I say:
“Cover my eyes.”
He smiles, and proceeds to place the blindfold over my eyes, plunging me into darkness and I hear him say:
“You’re mine tonight, Cassy. You belong to me,” before I’m lost to the pleasure.
***
I wake some hours later with Grayson wrapped around me. We’re naked and our bodies are exposed to the soft whisper of the air conditioning. And for one blissful moment, all I know is what is happening right here. It’s just his hands on my stomach and hips, his soft breath on my neck and the feeling of being completely content for the first time in ages.
Then reality seeps into my consciousness like a stain, and I groan inwardly at just how stupid I have been. I hope that Lisa will be too drunk to be concerned and Kate will still be recovering from her hangover. When I saw her on the way out, I gave Lisa a look of reassurance and said that I was going to a bar next door, but she seemed a little preoccupied. She may have gone to check on me but then I remember I told her that if I didn’t see her there, I would just meet her back at the hotel. Surely that would account for the lost hours?
I am wide awake and turn to face him, staring at his face in sleep. The lines on his face are even smoother as he sleeps. As if his age and experience somehow made his face younger. Honestly, there is something to be said for foregoing all the bad habits most of us struggle with. I get the feeling that he has channelled any bad feelings or problems into exercise and healthy living. He glows with good health and all the insecurities that usually have me by the throat just don’t seem to bother him.
His arm unconsciously moves me even closer to his chest and the sound of his breathing is almost hypnotic. My nipples tighten as I study his soft lips that gave me such pleasure. His jaw is strong and his nose is ever so slightly out of joint, like it may have been broken at some point. I move my finger through his dark hair, moving the loose strands away from his eyes. I move closer and press my lips to his as I imagine him kissing me back. I feel safe and cherished in his embrace and it takes all I have to stay still.
Yet, I feel my body begin to shake and I try to steady my breathing. It’s clear that he likes things to go his way and his cock was never harder than when he was on top of me, holding me down, calling me his. And I can’t deny, hearing him say that my body belonged to him, sent a thrill through me. My pussy tightens at the thought. My body glows with warmth and my hips move almost involuntarily against him as if begging him to wake up and do it all over again. Luckily though, he continues to sleep and the only sign he gives that he is even remotely aware of me is to hold onto me even tighter.
I feel a sudden wave of panic run through me. My bones feel like jelly and my teeth begin to chatter. His body seems almost oppressive now and I extricate myself slowly and carefully. My fists tighten and I have to use every bit of willpower to stand. I search as quietly and carefully as I can in the dark for my dress and shoes.
I then check my phone for messages and am relieved to see that nothing has come through yet. I order an Uber from wherever I have ended up back to my hotel in plenty of time before they discover that I haven’t come back. I breathe through my nose slowly as my heart feels like it’s about to burst out of my chest. And as I check around the room one last time, I can’t help but look at Grayson’s sleeping form. He’s so peaceful, almost vulnerable. I put the pillow between his outstretched arms, hoping that it will suffice for him to cuddle up against until he has to face it later on.
I scold myself internally for feeling a pang in my chest. I can’t allow a man I have only known one night to have power over my feelings. But, My God, he looks so good! I just can’t resist the urge to kiss him one last time. I almost moan at how good it feels and it takes everything I have to tear myself away from him.
When the Uber pulls up outside of my hotel ten minutes later, I can see the changing of the guard as the staff start work for the day. The lights of the night are burned out and I can see the very early light of dawn begin to peak through the clouds. My body feels bereft and I can’t decide exactly why I am shaking. Given this is the very beginning of what will be a very hot summer, I should be sweating right now but I curse my lack of a jumper. And to make matters worse, I have to hide the marks on my wrists as best I can as I pass the reception desk.
Luckily, the girls are still asleep when I open the door and I take off my shoes to avoid making any noise. I know that if Lisa catches me up and about, then it will be the start of an endless stream of questions I just can’t answer. I have barely begun to process the night’s events as it feels like an out of body experience. At least, that’s what I want to believe.
It wasn’t necessarily him and his total possession of my body that frightened me… it’s how easily I allowed him to have that power. It was so overpowering that any resistance was shattered instantly. And I don’t have the excuse of being drunk. Sure, most of us have done things we shouldn’t have, but I needed all my wits about me when talking to him, and even then, it wasn’t enough.
I let my mouth run away with me, insulted him casually and was intrusive when I never do that normally. I am most certainly not one for making people feel uncomfortable on purpose, and I pride myself on being able to be recognise when to shut my mouth. No such luck with this man. Yes, I wanted to sleep with him, and I make no apologies for that. But I also knew he was no good for me. And the reason for that is simple, but also awful: Sometimes, you know when the writing’s on the wall.
Yet, I wished I had done it in a better way. At least I could have been there in the morning, explained why I needed to go back home and just remember it for what it was. I didn’t owe him anything after all. He would have understood, right?
I guess I’ll never really know. All I knew for sure at that moment was an urgent need to get out of there as soon as possible. I have never experienced anything like that. I could only just about bring it up in my last relationship to less than impressive results that I don’t care to remember. I can only assume it’s because all those years of reading dirty novels have caused my brain to break.
I swear I had never even considered one night stands until recent months. They are almost never satisfactory given you can’t learn about how someone wants to be satisfied in one night. But at the time, it seemed like a very natural consequence to going close to a year without sex. I hadn’t even felt a little bit of an urge in those long, lonely months but I remember it coming back with such a vengeance that even taking a shower would become so much more complicated than usual. If I wasn’t aching with need, I’d be spending most of my downtime trying to keep my pussy satisfied. And eventually, it was not enough.
I was familiar with how one-night stands worked to not expect miracles, but I never stopped to consider that it would make it worse. They usually involved little more than a few cleverly timed caresses and then I was left unsatisfied with a semi-hard dick inside me. They definitely got more out of the experience than I did and I remember hating both them and myself for even trying.
It’s funny how much wanting to please someone can overcome the most sound logic. Yeah, every girl meets her fair share of arseholes but she also possesses more strength than she knows to get out of a bad situation. I feel the familiar anger rise up in me and push it down again. The same self-preservation that got me away from Grayson also helped me stay away from my most recent ex-boyfriend. A fact I had to remind myself of constantly until the words were almost written into my skin. I had done the impossible.
I wanted to scream and bang my fists against Grayson’s chest like the women in old Hollywood movies and shake some sense into him but I felt all of the fight slowly leave me. My eyes dropped to the floor and I just needed him to hold me. It was only when he was holding me against his chest later in his strong, protective arms that I could truly relax. I closed my eyes and breathed in his scent, feeling all the doubt and worry begin to settle. I could let go of all the excuses I had to not let a man close to me, and instead, just be happy in his company.
“Shh. It’s okay, Cassy. You don’t need to fight me anymore. Just sleep. I promise you’re safe.”
I wanted to reach for his hand and place it on my chest so I could demonstrate just how scared and unsettled I truly was at that moment but I simply held him closer, almost welding him to me. His hand weaved into my hair and gently rubbed at my scalp. My breathing began to slow and I sighed in pleasure as he occasionally moved his hand all the way down to the base of my spine and tracing the delicious path back up.
I shake off the thought and resolve not to think about him, good or bad, for the rest of the night. I turn on my side and I think about what sights I have managed to see in my brief time here, and mentally check things off my list. I know I will come back and see this city more thoroughly another time along with many other places. I feel excited at the possibility of finally seeing something of the world.
Leave a Reply