Jim and Scott looked Josh over. Despite never taking his eyes off Jessica he seemed okay.
“He’s fine.” Jim said.
Jessica was shaking her head. “No … no he’s not. I think he may have … cracked.”
Jim and Scott swung their eyes back to Josh and immediately saw what Jessica meant. Something was different about Josh … something was very, very different. He looked at peace. And he looked happy. But not in a good way. Not in a normal way.
“What happened, exactly?” Scott asked.
“He feels guilty …” Jessica said.
“About what he did to you?”
“That’s part of it …” Jessica replied.
“Well, I can understand that. I’d feel guilty too.” Jim said.
“But now he’s different.” Jessica said.
“Well. You let him off the hook for that right? Of course he’s different now … he must be relieved .” Scott replied but he had to admit that Josh’s unwavering focus on Jessica with no acknowledgement of his or Jim’s presence was alarming.
Jessica studied Josh again. Maybe it was a blip, an aberration … maybe he was back to normal again.
Josh smiled at her, with the same serene smile he’d had earlier.
“Wanna see the shoes I bought for you?” Jim asked.
“Sure!” Jessica exclaimed, the excitement distracting her momentarily. They moved to the sofa … Josh two steps behind Jessica. Guns returned to the rack, Jim passed Jessica the runners.
“They’re beautiful!” Jessica exclaimed looking at the running shoes that were so obviously meant for females. And then at the riding boots, that also were obviously feminine. She was so tired of wearing mens’ shoes.
“Try them on,” Jim said.
And then it happened. No sooner had Jessica sat on the sofa then Josh was on his knees before her, sliding her runners onto her feet … and then tying them … and then pulling her to her feet.
Jim, Scott and Jessica stared at Josh. For his part, Josh stood quietly watching Jessica.
“I see what you mean …” Jim finally said. “Josh … Jessica can put her own shoes on …”
“Is that what you want?” Josh asked Jessica.
Jessica was freaked.
“No Josh, what I want is for you to go back to being yourself … please!”
“I’ll try.” Josh said, but he continued to stand there … smiling, looking at Jessica. She looked to Jim and Scott and they looked worried too.
“It looks like Josh couldn’t take the guilt …” Scott said.
Jim was nodding but had a hard time believing Josh was so drastically altered due to his guilt. As another test Jim nodded at the sofa, “Try on the new boots Jess.” And he held the shopping bag with the new boots out to her.
Before Jessica could even begin to move to the sofa, Josh had scooped her up in his arms, sat her on the sofa, untied her runners, slipped them off, slipped on her boots, and then helped her to her feet.
Jessica looked panicked as she looked between Jim and Scott, both of whom were squinting at Josh clearly deep in thought.
“He’ll be okay, right?” she asked.
“I don’t know.” Scott replied.
“Of course he will.” Jim said suddenly, as if deciding something. “He’s protecting himself Jessica. If you let him … cater to you … then you’re helping him. He needs to make amends before he can move on. I’ve seen it before … once.”
He didn’t go on to mention that the particular incident he was thinking of had ended in suicide. And that Josh was going to have to be watched very closely.
Scott looked at Jim.
“Daren?” he asked, everything suddenly making sense. There had been a man in another clan who had felt so guilty about a job that had gone horribly wrong … killing several children … some babies … that he’d completely wigged out. He refused to work … just sat in a corner for a few days. And then he began donating money. All of his money to orphanages, children’s hospitals, foreign aid services.
After a few months of this his money ran out … and then so did his life. He’d ended it with a bullet to his temple. Scott had never put two and two together … mostly because he didn’t really know Daren … or care about his death. He whipped his eyes to Josh. He definitely cared about Josh …
“Jim’s right Jess.” Scott said, trying not to sound too melodramatic, or worried. “Give him what he needs.”
Jessica looked at Josh. He looked like he needed a hug.
Jessica went to him and buried her head in his chest. He wrapped his arms around her. But even in that there was something different. This was just a hug. A strong, protective hug. He didn’t run his hands along her body, try to press himself against her … accidentally brush her breast. He just hugged her. And he wasn’t letting go.
“Okay Josh, please let me go.” Jessica said, and in a flash, his arms fell away.
“This could take some getting used to …” Scott muttered.
“You’re telling me …” Jessica muttered back.
“How did things go with Sean?” Jim asked, eager to change the subject.
“Great!” Scott replied. “Did you tell Jessica?”
“Nope … this’ your baby …”
Jessica looked back and forth between Jim and Scott. They were happy, excited. She was beginning to worry that they’d cracked too.
“I’ve got something to tell you … sit down.” He said indicating the sofa … and again Josh swooped in and before Jessica knew it she was on the sofa and Scott sat beside her.
“That’s going to be a problem …” Scott muttered, looking at Josh standing … hovering beside Jessica.
“Josh,” Jessica said … sounding nervous, “sit down please.” Josh sat beside her immediately.
“Okay,” Scott began again, glancing at Jim, who’d plopped himself on the recliner. “I’ve decided to enter Ebony into the races at the track.”
Jessica squealed with delight. She bounced up and down, clapping her hands. And beside her, Josh smiled even more.
“My meeting the other day was with some clients who want Ebony to sire a colt with their mare. That’s planned in a week, and then after that, he’ll race. I was just meeting with some guys from the clan … they’re going to get together all the paperwork … and … “ Scott paused. This was it, the biggest decision they’d made so far. It was either going to work out incredibly well … or be the end of them. Literally.
“You’re going to be my rider.”
Jessica froze. She wasn’t sure she’d heard him correctly but she was afraid to ask. Seconds ticked by, Jessica just stared at Scott.
“Breathe Jessica!” Josh said from beside her … shaking her arm.
Jessica inhaled. “Me? Did you say me? I’m going to go to the track to ride Ebony … for you?”
“Yup!” Scott said clearly excited also.
“But we haven’t run Ebony yet … haven’t timed him …”
“I know, I know. We will, but I’m certain he’s the fastest horse we have …”
A squeal pierced the room and Jessica launched herself at Scott.
She hugged him, she kissed him, she jumped up and down on him. She couldn’t believe it. Scott laughed between kisses … he could barely keep up with her. The next thing Scott knew, he and Jessica had fallen off the sofa … her beneath him. He was about to lift himself off of her when he felt two hands grab him by his arms and yank him up. And then Josh was lifting Jessica to her feet.
“You were hurting her.” He said to Scott in a calm, matter of fact tone.
“It was okay …” Jessica said quickly … “I was fine … but thanks.”
“Yeah … thanks.” Scott said and glanced over at Jim. Jim seemed perplexed.
“Should we go time Ebony now?” Jessica asked quickly back in the excitement. “I have my riding boots on already …”
“Sure …” Scott answered, and nearly got bowled over as Josh moved to keep step with Jessica.
“What are we going to do about him?” Scott asked Jim as they watched Josh disappear through the door behind Jessica. “When Riley and Angus get back … it won’t be good.”
“I know.” Jim said. “I’ll think of something.”
“We only have two nights left …”
“I’m painfully aware of that. I’m not really sure how Jessica’s going to act when they get back, much less Josh. But, maybe this will be a good thing.” Jim said as he and Scott followed Josh and Jessica out to the barn.
“How do you figure?”
“If Josh is all weird … then it’ll take the focus off of Jessica. In fact, it could explain anything odd in her behavior.”
“Yup.” Scott said without breaking stride. “That Jimbo, is why you’re the brains of this operation …” and he disappeared into the barn, leaving Jimmy looking after him. Suddenly Jim felt his shoulders sag. With those simple words, Scott had made Jim realize the enormity of what he was doing. He was throwing a silent coup. Not to usurp Riley, but to make Riley run things the way that he, Jim, would run things. He’d managed to bring Jessica, Scott, and Josh on board … maybe Josh a little more than was necessary. But if he didn’t play this right. If he miscalculated anything when it came to Riley and Angus … everything would be lost. He pushed the worry from his mind as he watched Jessica lead Ebony out of the barn … Josh, never breaking stride beside her.
Things would work out.
Things had to work out.
**************************************************************
Jessica closed the book and looked around the room. She was startled when she saw Josh standing off to the side, hands behind his back, watching her. She hadn’t heard him return from his shower and had been too engrossed in the book to notice how much time had gone by. She looked at her side table … wondering if perhaps there was a magazine waiting for her that she’d missed earlier, but the table was empty. Josh was smiling at her, and when she smiled back, expecting him to come to the bed, he didn’t move.
“Are you coming to bed?” she asked, throwing back the covers on his side of the bed.
“Do you want me to?” he asked, for the thousandth time that day.
“Yes …” Jessica replied and began to feel despair wash over her as she realized that Josh’s behavior during the day was continuing into the night … into the bedroom. Josh moved quickly to the bed and climbed under the blanket. But rather than pull her to him, he kept a distance and sat with his hands on top of the blankets. Jessica remembered what Jim had said. How Josh needed this. And Jim didn’t even know the whole story … Jessica sighed. “Josh … where’s our comic book?”
“In my drawer.” He replied.
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