“I’m glad you asked then, because no, that’s not it. I guess I just felt that sex would complicate things. And I wasn’t sure how much you’d enjoy it. Plus, I didn’t want you doing it for the wrong reasons. You don’t owe me anything Jessica … for helping you sometimes.”
Jim thought back to the time that he’d lied to the men about Jessica asking for permission to ride Ebony. He’d had the distinct feeling that she thought he’d take sex as some kind of pay back.
Jessica nodded.“I know. The fact that you’ve been so nice to me has made me think of you that way. But it’s not because I feel like I have to … I just … want to … with you.”
“Jess, did you and Scott have so much sex last night that you couldn’t get up this morning?”
Jessica nodded, and a slight pink spread over her cheeks.
“And you enjoyed it?”
“I did.” She said. And then she smiled. “Scott was pretty persistent about that. He made sure I enjoyed it.”
“Well, Scott is pretty experienced in that … in sex … and making girls enjoy it … “ Jim was blabbering and snapped his mouth shut before he could say more to embarrass himself.
Jessica smiled and took his hand.
“I wouldn’t compare you. You don’t have to worry about that.”
Jim nodded. Now what?
“Jim. Did Josh date Pam?”
“Josh? No. Why?”
“He’s been dreaming about her too. Unless it’s a different Pam.”
“Well, he did know her forever … she was practically his sister too.”
“Oh.”
“Do I dream about anything else?” Jim asked, suddenly self-conscious.
“No.”
“And you’re okay, after this conversation about Pam, your family … everything’s fine?”
“I was being honest Jim … about everything. I’ve been doing like you said, becoming someone else. I was just trying to help Angus. I did enjoy last night with Scott, and I do want to have sex with you. But I kind of see your point, it’s a little awkward, isn’t it?” She entwined her fingers with his. “I mean, how do we start?”
“Well. Right now, I’d really like to kiss you.” Jim said. The knowledge that Jessica wanted to have sex with him, not as some form of pay back, but a true desire, made him see her and want her in a whole new way.
Jessica leaned her head against the headboard, tilted her face toward Jim and closed her eyes.
Jim looked at her and tried to get himself under control. He was so unprepared.
Jessica opened an eye and looked at Jim.
“Did you mean an air kiss?” Jessica asked.
“No …” Jim said laughing. “I just wasn’t expecting this tonight. I don’t want to hurt you. It’s been a while since I’ve had sex, I’m very … let’s say ‘excited’.”
“Can you have sex when you’re not excited?” Jessica asked, and she looked so innocent and serious when she asked that Jim had to laugh.
“I guess you have a point.” Jim said leaning in to her.
The laughter had helped relax him a little but as soon as Jessica closed her eyes and tilted her head again, the urge to grab her and just go at it came back and he froze before making contact.
“You’re a very light kisser Jimmy, I don’t see how you’re going to hurt me.” Jessica replied, opening her eyes for the second time.
Jim looked down at her. She was so damn cute. He never thought he could have sex with cute … but it sure wasn’t doing anything to dull his desire.
“Give me a minute,” Jim said moving off of the bed.
“Where are you going?” Jessica asked.
“To the bathroom just to take a bit of the edge off.”
“Okay … so not number 1 or 2?” Jessica asked confusion evident on her face.
Jim chuckled. “No, not number 1 or 2. Just a little self-service. It’ll help me go slower.”
“Self servi… oh!” Jessica said finally getting it. “You don’t have to do self- service Jim, I can help you …” she said getting onto her knees and moving toward him, her eyes planted firmly on the bulge in his pants.
“Maybe … no definitely later Jess. But this first time … I want to service you and I can’t do it if all I want to do is jump you. Just lay back and relax, I’ll be back in a minute.”
Jim left the bedroom and returned five minutes later.
He groaned as he walked in the room and saw Jessica lying stretched out on the bed. She was fully clothed and simply turned her head to look at him, but it brought the desire back.
“Are you okay?”
“Fine … I’ll just have to exert more self-control than I’d planned to …”
“It didn’t work?” Jessica asked sitting up.
“Not as well as I’d hoped,” Jim admitted as he moved to the bed. “Do you mind if we turn off the light? I think not seeing you may help.”
“Okay …” Jessica said and Jim flicked off the lights.
He felt his way to the bed and then slid in next to Jessica.
“Now for that kiss,” Jim said pulling her to him.
“The real one?” Jessica asked.
Jim couldn’t help but laugh before he brought his lips to hers. He kissed her slow, and deep. It had to be the longest kiss Jessica had ever had, and as he did, he softly caressed her legs and thighs over her pants … slowly working his way to the V between her legs and when he got there he stroked and stroked.
Jessica lifted herself against his hand, dying for him to remove her pants.
“Was that real?” Jim asked his lips brushing hers as he spoke.
Jessica couldn’t catch her breath. All she could do is nod.
Jim chuckled as he brought his lips to her neck. He nipped gently. Jessica couldn’t take it anymore. She took Jimmy’s hand and brought it to the waist of her pants.
“Without my pants …” Jessica muttered.
Jim pulled off her pants, her bra and shirt, and then his clothes.
When he moved back over her Jessica threw herself into him, pushing her tongue into his mouth, her vagina against his pelvis.
“Whoa, Jessica,” Jimmy said his voice husky. “Slow … take it slow.”
“No, faster!” Jessica panted.
“No Jessica,” Jimmy said holding her wrists firmly, bringing her hands up over head and pinning her to the bed with his body.
“I want to take my time.” He said, his lips brushing against hers as he spoke, “and really feel you.”
He moved back a little and began running his hands down her arm but Jessica threw her arms and legs around him, and kissed him.
“You’re not making this easy Jessica,” Jim said with an exasperated laugh, grabbing her wrists and bringing her hands above her head again.
“Lie still … lie still.” He whispered as she continued to squirm beneath him.
“Jessica … Jessica,” Jim said laying his hand on her left breast and stroking. “I want to enjoy this, take it slow, explore you. But you have to stay still.”
Jessica forced herself to relax on the bed even though every fiber of her body was pounding … wanting, needing.
“That’s it …” Jim said. He began to slide his hand up her chest but stopped over her heart. “Calm Jessica, breathe, relax. I plan to take my time … all night if I have to, and if your heart keeps going like this it’s going to pop right out of your chest.”
“I can’t control it …” Jessica replied, “and when you touch me, it just gets faster. I just want you more …”
Jim slid his hand to the side of her chest, felt the bones of her ribcage, counted them as he moved up to her armpit, and then slid it along her arm.
When he got to her bicep, he stopped, and squeezed. It was hard. Muscular. He had no idea that she was so muscular. It wasn’t obvious through the mens’ baggy clothes which Jessica wore, that was for sure. But naked, to the touch, she definitely had rock hard muscles. He switched the hand that held her wrists above her head and felt the other arm. Not surprisingly it had muscle too. Jim ran his hand down her side. Sliding lower, he rested it between her legs before he ran his hand down her thigh. Again, muscle. It dawned on him that if she wore even the least revealing of clothing, he would have probably considered sex with her much sooner.
“Uh!” Jessica exclaimed, clutching handfuls of Jim’s hair in her hands, as Jim brought his lips up along her inner thigh. He paused, but only for a moment.
“Ah, Jimmy!” Jessica exclaimed again as he slid his tongue between the lips of her pussy and licked. Lightly.
“Jimmy!!!“ Jessica cried out as Jimmy exhaled his warm breath on her wet sex, and licked more firmly. And then pleasure exploded through her body and she felt her vagina begin to pulsate. She pulled Jimmy up.
“Now Jimmy, now!”
Jimmy entered her and then his control was gone. He held Jessica firmly by the shoulders and thrust into her, and then pleasure shook him with a blinding intensity. And then Jessica cried out, clutching him to her. Sweating and out of breath they collapsed together on the bed.
“Oh my God,” Jimmy mumbled as he kissed Jessica’s face gently.
Jessica mumbled an incoherent agreement and then fell to sleep, exhausted. Jim closed his eyes too. He couldn’t move a muscle. That wet spot that Jessica had made would have to be dealt with in the morning.
Later that night, Jessica awoke in the dark. Jim lay snoring beside her. Something was different but she couldn’t figure out what it was. She lay very still and tried to figure it out. Then it came to her. She was smiling. She was smiling in the dark, she was relaxed and happy. Even without blocking her memories. She remembered her family, what had happened. And it was okay. She didn’t mind. And deep down she knew her family didn’t mind. She was happy for the first time in years. She didn’t need to escape any more. There was no point. Where would she go? What would she do? Besides, there would be no vindication for her family through escape. It was a waste of energy. Not to mention that the men were pre-occupied with the idea that she wanted to escape. Even Jimmy, the least controlling of them all, constantly worried that she planned to run away. Jessica inhaled deeply. No, she’d have to avenge her family some other way. Something better than escape or murder. She didn’t know what that way would be, but she wasn’t worried about it. She’d already been here for years … if it took the rest of her life, she would get satisfaction somehow. In the meantime she could stop trying to suppress memories of her family, stop expending energy on escape or fighting. After all, as Jim had suggested, she had reasons to like Scott, Josh and Jim. No real luck with Riley or Angus, but at least she didn’t hate them anymore. Indifference had to count for something. She had accidently broken several major rules and not been punished. Her heart pounded when she considered that she’d actually had a loaded gun in her hand, and hadn’t used it. But most importantly, none of the men had punished her for it. And then Angus, and the saw. She had been completely honest with Jim, everything she’d done, she’d done opposite to her instinct. If she’d felt like hitting Angus, she kissed him. When he was under that sink … she hadn’t even felt like hurting him in any way. The whole thing had reminded her of her father … she hadn’t realized it at the time, but now, she did. She had helped her father fix the sink … the toilet … the car, so many times, been so happy doing so … she’d had little conscious choice but to help him. There was hope. If she kept doing the opposite of what her instincts said, perhaps things could get better with Riley and Angus and then maybe she could avoid being beaten, enjoy life a little, and keep an eye out for whatever opportunity may present itself so she could avenge her family. She closed her eyes and took a deep breath. Jim rolled toward her and wrapped his arms around her. She cuddled up against him and was stunned to realize that she loved him. There was that problem also. When it came time to do what she had to, would she be able to? Could she do it to Jimmy … even Scott or Josh? She began to feel anxiety return. She squeezed her eyes shut. No, she promised herself, her family, that no matter what she felt for any of the men, when the time came she would do what she had to. The resolution made, Jessica closed her eyes and drifted off to sleep.
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